Category Archives: Articles

STOP LETTING YOUR KIDS WIN

Stop letting your kids win. You are literally raising a loser. Let me explain. Not to sound like Kevin Hart but let me Explain. Kids Don’t know how to play games, either it be Chess, Checkers or Hide n’ Seek. They learn the art of playing these games from you just as much as they learn the art of dancing in the rain. It’s all curiosity driven. Kids function purely on curiosity. Their hunger to learn is inssentiable. Their curiosity overpowers the need to feel demoralised 9 outta 10 times they face anything.

I recently witnessed one of my nephews who is a few months old pull a rabbit by it’s ears and drag it like it was a rug doll. The boy can not say a word yet he saw the rabbit which was about half his own weight yet he crawled to it and grabbed it by both its ears in one hand. THAT’S RIGHT. HE GRABBED BOTH EARS IN HIS ONE TINY RIGHT HAND. And when they tried to pry the poor bunny from his hand, he held on for dear life and dragged the bunny on the tiled floor. The bunny was not hurt. Chill. It wasn’t even trying to run from him. Completely unbothered.

His curiosity overpowered his fear for what this strange animal could do to him. Yet somehow, this kid is afraid of strangers who come to his parents house. I’m one of the strangers he doesn’t want near him. He cries when I pick him up. Then there is my 6year old granddaughter who nearly every week develops a new interest in some game she picked up from friends at school or a game we introduce her to. Yes, I’m old enough that I have a granddaughter at 30-ish.

Recently, she witnessed a Checkers (Draft for Zambians; PS: It’s actually called Draughts), game at her friends place. She came home and demanded I make her a Checkers board. So I obliged to avoid dealing with Tantrums. Little did I know I had signed up for being woken up early on weekends to play the game with her. Not to mention every other minute she feels like playing a game I no longer have interest in.

Anyway, I noticed that every time I let her win, she would copy my moves in hopes of winning again and in the process she would lose even when I gave her the advantage. So I decided to apply the NO PARTICIPATION TROPHIES POLICY. And slowly I noticed that, she was now picking up my very whitewashing victory moves and using them against me to the point to beating me at my own game every one game out of the too many to count victories I had over her.

This was a lightbulb moment for me. Because over the years I have noticed this same attribute in myself and in those around me. People end up applying this to their lives. We all learn from experiences we have had but most importantly, we build our character on childhood experiences. A Development Biologist named Dr Bruce Lipton argues that a Person’s character is defined by the things their brain downloads from the observation of the people and events around them during the first 7 years of their life. He further estimates that 95 percent of a person’s life will be whatever is programmed in that person’s brain during these years.

For this reason and based on my observations, I say people don’t just become losers. They are programmed to lose by those around them in the early stages of life.  This includes every time you let a child win instead of showing them how to win. They end up growing up with a Self-Sabotage Mentality like adults who are so pessimistic, they can’t see positive outcomes without suspicion of a backhanded component at play; or perhaps constantly making choices that are detrimental to their own wellbeing even in the most straightforward of situations.

So STOP LETTING YOUR KIDS WIN. Teach Them How  to Win Instead. Don’t worry about crushing their spirit. You can’t crush a Child’s spirit unless you intend on doing so. Their curiosity overpowers their fear of losing or harm because they don’t know any better. To them, the world around them is just a huge endless play ground to be explored until adulthood kicks in. They will keep going. Only when they start seeming like giving up, that’s when you let them win by making moves that give them the advantage in order to build their morale back up.

That said, when I have kids of my own, the No Participation Trophies Policy will be in full effect. 🤷🏾‍♂️ Oh how I pity them unborn thumbsuckers.

The “GET HER DRUNK” Mentality.

I know rape is mostly perpetuated by men and the blame is entirely placed on them. However, there are some situations where a man didn’t seem to know exactly that what he committed was rape because of extenuating circumstances. One circumstance in particular has been on my mind. And that is the situation where rape occurs when both the victim and the perpetrator are DRUNK.

So, I figured I could give a view that has fostered the phrase “Get Her Drunk” among guys. The thing is when most girls want to indulge in sex, they usually want to have a beer or two or some form of intoxication before getting down to a shag. They do so to numb their moral compass about sex before marriage, in most cases, or simply to have the courage to do it.

However, this has inevitably given guys the perception that girls can only indulge in sex when they are drunk. Because of this guys think when a girl says NO while she is sober, she is only playing hard to get because she is not drunk. As a result most guys think a girl saying yes to a drink implies yes to sex. And when a girl indulges in sex while sober, to guys it’s not just a girl being comfortable  with  her sexuality,  it’s her being a slut which is very wrong.

Keep in mind we live in a society with double standards where somehow its okay for men to sexually explore before matrimony yet it’s a HARD NO for girls. The question we fail to ask time and time again is who are men exploring sex with if girls are not allowed to explore.?? Are they shagging dogs or perhaps cows?

The worst part of the “Get Her Drunk Mentality” is that most guys who do it don’t think they are doing anything wrong. They think its normal because girls usually want to intoxicate themselves before sex.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not blaming the victims of this heinous crime. I’m simply saying we need to change the perception and narrative about sex before marriage. And Ladies you need to stop the “I NEED TO BE TIPSY BEFORE I CAN SHAG” Mentality. It inevitably fosters a wrong perception about the state of mind a girl needs to be in before sex. Embrace your sexuality boldly. If a guy calls you are slut for sleeping with him while you are sober, dump that fool and walk with your head held high knowing you embrace your sexuality as opposed to being victimized.

Fellas, we need to invest in studying the Art of Seduction from either books or digital media (NOT Porn), so we stop indulging in this rampant DATE RAPE that has corroded our moral compass to the point of doing it without knowing we are raping. Hell we need to stop treating the “Get Her Drunk Mentality” like its normal in our GUY TALK Conversations. It has to stop Now. Because in future you will have a Daughter and I don’t think you want her falling victim to a behaviour you helped foster and normalize.

Ladies be bold with your sexuality. Embrace it and educate one another about it. It’s your body. Own its physical sensual needs as you own it when you flaunt it’s beauty.
Fellas study the Art of Seduction from books or Digital media. Better yet talk to your player friend who gets the girls with ease. Hell I bet YouTube has this stuff on it. And Porn has Zero Seduction Education Guys..!!!!! It doesn’t count as a source of digital media for Seduction Education.

#STOP_The_Get_Her_Drunk_Mentality

The Man With A Dark Story

Often times when choosing a  lover or Leader, society has always chosen a man with a story of repentance from a dark past. The argument has always been that a repented man with a dark history has learned his lessons and can never error again. And if they do, it will be to a limited extent.

Yet time and time again we have seen these men do the exact opposite. Which is repeat the very dark “mistakes” they allegedly learned from for selfish reasons which benefit them.
When that happens, that is, a man continuing being unfaithful either be it in marriage or as a leader of a nation we cry faul saying he let us down.

Like how do we find the energy to complain when we knew the kind of man he was to begin with? True, ones history does not entirely define their future as people do change,  but shouldn’t history be a warning sign of what might come as history tends to repeat itself?

We completely sideline men with a clean story as we regard them to be too clean to be a leader without trial.

Point is I think it’s time we let clean men rule as they maybe what we need to restore morality to the leadership of the world at large because the men with juicy dark stories have turned this world into what it is today, A MESS  NOT FIT FOR HUMAN OCCUPATION.

Modern Positivity

We live in a world that screams positivity from Mount Zion in Israel to the Table Mountains in South Africa. The positivity is so loud, it’s now a mere slogan. Barely applies to daily life. If you doubt, look at the suicide rate stats.

We are a sad generation that chants words and recites quotes like poems in kindergarten without fully understanding the meaning of these words. Much less fully comprehend the depth of the lesson they seek to teach. We have little appreciation for the process of growth so we would rather shout about it.

Being a progressive is all the talk. Madness marinated into social change. Anyway, I’m just but one guy trying to figure out why all the sudden being 30 years old means every woman between the age of 21 to 50 thinks when I approach them, I’m looking for a wife. Like back off. I’m just horny. No marriage in site. At least for now anyway.

So next time someone screams be POSITIVE, try being REALISTIC instead. It saves you a heartache later when things go south. And if things work out, Just SMILE and give your share of the round of applause.

LATE NIGHT POWER DYNAMICS ANALYTICS

Chapter Four: SHIFT OF POWER

Every now and again power changes hands.
This happens in every relationship and institutions.
Its inevitable.
Well except in the case of God and the Devil.
Sorry Lucifer.
You can’t win that one.
You will definitely take a few souls with you
But winning… nah brah.
Not a chance.
I mean people have created countless religions just to Worship God.
You shouldn’t have defied the big fella.
You should have stayed in your lane.

Anyway this is not about that Power.
This is about man made power
Power that regulates institutions and relationships.
In old days men had all the power.
They controlled everything.
I mean everything.
We had wars that reshaped the world we live in today because of men and their unquenchable thirst for power.
Stupid men and their damn Egos.

Well every dog has his day.
The day to rise and the day to fall.
Some men gain power because they came out of the right vagina.
Could be a vagina from royalty.
A Princess or a Queen .
Though in most cases it’s usually a Royal penis were the power comes from.
Children of a Prince or King.
Perhaps a vagina or penis of someone with power.
Anyway, some get choosen
Others get elected.
Others take it.

You see power corrupts.
When people have power they think they are untouchable.
They abuse it regardless of how they got it.
Let’s take a look at those that get elected, then abuse it.

Take Algeria for example.
An elected president didn’t show his face or say a word to his people for 6years.
Yeah. You heard that right.
Read it again.
Shocked?
Me too.
For 6years Algerians didn’t see there elected President.
All they heard where numerous reports from generals and ministers

Thing is the man had a stroke or something.
After which he had one medical check up after another in sweden.
Before they knew it, years had gone by
And they had not heard from him or seen him.
Anyway eventually the people rose in 2019 and demanded he show his face.

When he couldn’t, the jig was up.
Long story short he generals sent him packing
He didn’t go down without a fight.
He fought alright.
Did he? Or it was the people who were actually running country.
I mean he was an old man.
An 80-something-year old man.
Could barely walk
His speech was quite incoherent.

They pulled a stunt never heard of or done before.
They wanted him to run for another term after like forever terms in office.
From 1999 to 2019 to be exact.
They wanted him to run for what would be his last term.
If he wins, he rules for a year and then steps down.
Then the country holds another election.
Like he was gonna lose.
The people wouldn’t have it.
So the generals stepped in.
And it was bon voyage to the old guy.

Now let’s talk about people who take power.
That’s right. Dictators.
You know them, Hitler, Musolini, Gaddafi, Kim Kardashian….
Sorry.  I meant Kim Jong Un. The North Korean guy with the funny haircut
Rocket man as Trump called him.
Hmmm Donald Trump, what an… never mind mind.
Story for another day.

As for those who take power, well I don’t have to tell you how it ends for them.
Just Google the names I just mentioned with the exception of Kim Jong Un.
He is still has a grip on the balls of power.

Now let’s look at the role of us women in the power dynamics.
For years we were just birthers of sons who would rule.
That was in the era of Mornachs.
There were a few Queens but they were outnumbered.
The boys had all the fun.

As times went by women were just tools.
Sexual tools to be exact.
Thing is men are horny creatures
Men with power however,
Oh they are beyond horny.
They live, breath and eat Pus….
Let’s no say that word.
You get it though.
Just google John F Kennedy.

The F is for Fitzgerald
But yeah it also did apply to the other four letter word you thought of.
Just ask Marilyn Monroe’s Ghost
She will tell you all about it.
No, his was wife was Jackie.
Marilyn was just one of the many “the other woman”.
Yep. Horny men make dumb decisions.

Point is women were used to symbolise how much power a man had.
The more women he had, the more power he had.
At least that was the perception.
Most importantly, women were a weapon.
If you wanted to take down a man known to be of high moral standards
You just make sure someone who won’t shut up finds him with a whore.
And that was it.
His power gone. Puff, like magic.

In recent times, things have changed.
Women hold real power.
They call the shots. Not all of them.
We have women everywhere in power positions.
The ground Breakers in include Margaret Thatcher, first female Prime Minister of UK.
Salif Johnson, First Female President of not only Liberia but Africa.
That’s right.

In 2006 Africa had its first ever Democratically elected Female President.
Took too damn long if you ask me.
Angela Merkel of Germany is another ground Breaker.
Who knew that Germany would shift from Nazi Rule under the most dangerous tyrant Hitler from 1914 to 1945 to Angela Merkel in 2005 till present.
First female Chancellor of Germany.
And now we got Kamala.
Yep. First Female Vice President of these United states of America.

Now you get the point.
Power Shifts are as inevitable as Death and Taxes.
And like Death, Shift of Power can’t be evaded like taxes.
Peace. Enjoy your wine with popcorn ladies. As for men…, Piss off.
Quit your whining
Enjoy the Shift of Power.

LATE NIGHT POWER DYNAMICS ANALYTICS

Chapter Three: RIGHTEOUS MURDER

Death and Taxes.
The only two things that are certain
You can evade taxes.
Not so much with death
That’s why it’s such a powerful weapon

You see people die of either natural causes or fall of a cliff trying to look cool.
Other unfortunate souls simply slide and fall to their demise.

Or they go out the third door
My favourite way.
Getting killed.
That’s right. Murder.

Since the beginning of time people have killed one another.
Check the bible if you don’t believe me.
It’s well documented there.
Just look up the story of Abel and Cain.
No need for details. Look it up.

Since the Abel and Cain saga
People have killed each other for a variety of reasons
The common being Jealous
Surprisingly Jealous was the reason for the very first murder.
Strangely enough it’s still the number one reason people kill to this day.
Talk about repetition.
Trivial reasons like fighting over a woman or a man are prevalent too.

Over the years the reasons for killing have become more complex.
People now kill for real justifiable reasons.
Of course, that depends on one’s definition of Justifiable Reason.
They kill for Money and Power
Others kill out of fear
Like fear ever stops when you kill.
What can I say. People are stupid.

Anyway, I am here to talk about killing for Power.
Forget money.
True, Money is power but not all power comes from money.
And such Power is the focus here.

You see, there are some people out there who possess the ability to persuade and compel others to do as they wish them to.
To simple minds, this ability is called Charisma.
To complex intellectually advanced beings like myself it’s called Intellectual Magnetism.

Individuals who possess Intellectual Magnetism are virtually unstoppable.
When they speak, the masses are moved like waves on the ocean.
Institutions crumble as if struck by an earthquake.

When such people use this power to gain more power, it becomes a problem.
This is because a man with Intellectual Magnetism is always one step closer to absolute power.
Absolute Power CORRUPTS.

Here are some examples of people being corrupted by Power.
The Gambian, 1994.
Jammeh led a bloodless Coup.
He installed himself as leader of the country
Two years later he held elections in which he contested and he won.
Four contentious Presidential terms later
The man lost power in a humiliating defeat in an attempt to win a 5th term.
I don’t have to tell you about Mugabe, RIP.
Or the current Situation with Yoweri.

Then there is the misguided Altruistic Men.
Those that believe every wrong must be written.
Pssssh.
Such a Utopian mindset.
These are the reason I exist.

You see these men often times gather intel on wrongs
The intention is good
Unfortunately, the world is led by evil men because good men are too good to be true.
You decided that.
Too good to be true.
Sad.
Anyway, this Intel sometimes ends up in good hands
Most of the times, not so much.
Because it’s my hands this intel ends up in.
Well, my foot soldiers to be exact

Sometimes it ends up in my competitors hands.
When that happens, then the Killing begins.
Because you see, intel of wrongs in wrong hands is a weapon.
We use it to create balance.
Not that balance actually exists.

As a control mechanism
Such people must die.
Both the writers of wrong and those who seek to gain power from it
Certain wrongs shouldn’t and mustn’t be written.
Otherwise, political instability ensues
Then wars start.
Like we don’t have enough wars already.

Point is some people must be killed before they destroy balance.
Yes, this balance is for the power players.
The people will always be oppressed
Oppression is the reason power exists in first place.
I won’t bother talking about people being killed to maintain power or
Stop them from gaining power.
You already know that.

Point is power should only be wielded by few.
Half should be wise, Half should be fools
It’s all for the sake of balance.
And this is what I mean when I say,
You CAN’T TAKE COMMAND.
COMMAND TAKES COMMAND.

And that’s where I come in.
I am the control mechanism.
Death is my tool.
So when command attempts to take command.
I take their souls.
Come Hell, Come High Water.
And just to be clear, I am the Hell and the High Water.

This is why every government has sanctioned Murder.
No, not the death penalty.
I’m taking about killing people who pose a threat to their grip on power.

So remember.
Two things are definite.
One, Death and Taxes are certain.
Secondly and most Important,
YOU CAN’T TAKE COMMAND.
COMMAND TAKES COMMAND.

LATE NIGHT POWER DYNAMICS ANALYTICS Chapter Two: Altruism

Look at you, looking at me like I’m a monster.
I’m not a monster. I’m a realist.
I see it for what it is.
The world doesn’t need altruistic men.
They are weak. Good Men are Weak.
They give and give until they nothing to give but themselves.

You don’t believe me?
Look at Abraham Lincoln
A true Altruistic man to the core
Gave his life to those United States of America.
What did that get him?
A bullet to the back of his skull.

Hell look at Nelson Mandela
The world’s most loved and adored peace preacher.
Gave 27years of his life.
Wasted if you ask me.
All for what?
POEMS?
Like seriously? Freaking Poems!
They wrote poems about him.
After all that he gave.
They took the ballot and gave it to Zuma.
Zuma of all people.
That man promised them a million jobs.
Instead he gave them a million scandals

The world doesn’t need altruistic men.
The world needs bad men with Altruistic Tendencies.
Look at Obama.
That boy charmed the pants off the world.
He charmed them so hard they didn’t notice they had lost their pants.
He charmed them so hard they couldn’t fault him.

I mean He bombed everyone he deemed a threat.
Whatever that means.
He dropped more bombs than any sitting President in the recent history of those United States of America.
Check the statistics.
Yet they love the socks out of that man.
Their bits and Bob’s are dangling for children to see.
Yet they even miss him.

If you don’t believe me, just look at the number of good boys who get the girl compared to bad boys with Good boy tendencies.
So keep your altruism. I’ll keep my Egoism and All the Power that Comes with it.

LATE NIGHT POWER DYNAMICS ANALYTICS Chapter One: A FEAST OF BEASTS.

The world we live in today is ruled by evil men.
Men with Whiskey intoxicated minds and Cigar smoke choked intentions
Surrounded by young attractive women refilling their cups and lighting their cigars
In a room with dimmed lighting.

You see I have been in that room
I have indulged these men in their fallacy
I have smelled their whiskey on their breath
I have inhaled their cigar second hand smoke
My lungs are high on it.

So you can sit there and pretend that feminists are winning.
The reality is patriarchy is here to stay
Until women are ready to set foot on such hellish grounds
Enter such a realm
Take a seat on such a table
And wine and dine on such a feast
Devour meals served on such filthy plates.
Surrounded by such an evil stench
And kiss such a hellacious grounds.

Till then, the world is screwed.
And the innocent will continue to suffer.

So make no mistake, you are not a good person. You have just never had the chance to do bad things and get away with it. Given the chance and the right circumstances and justifiable reasons, you would do it.

Men & Labour Pains

Often times I hear my fellow young men, yet to be fathers say they will never go in the labour ward to be by the side of their wife/lady as she gives birth to their child.

The reasons behind this vary from traditionally a man having no place at such an event to jokes like the one made by a legendary Canadian stand up comedian Russell Peters to borderline fear of witnessing an Event that for generations has been reserved traditionally for Traditional Midwives such as grandmothers and community midwives then transitioning to science based Medical experts like Nurses, Then Trained specialist Midwives and now Gynecologists who come in for very specific pregnancies with Complications in most cases only a highly trained and specialised physician can attend to.

I will cite two reasons commonly given as I would like to avoid igniting a conversation about African Culture and TRADITIONS.

  1. The JOKE

Russell Peters joked that, “Watching your wife give birth is like watching your favourite sports car get wrecked”. Many other comedians have said a similar thing about witnessing child birth. Its funny in a dark humour context.

  1. FEAR of the Unknown

Some men say, “Its SCARY”. What if something goes wrong? I don’t think I can handle that.

I will address the second reason of fear as we can all relate to fear. I am avoiding addressing the first reason because I do not have a child yet. God willing I will have one or two perhaps four in the near future. For this reason I’m in no position to speak about something I have never witnessed as the men who said this have witnessed childbirth and their jokes have some truth I can not relate to because like I said I have never witnessed the event.

Like most men I too have had my fair share of fears regarding witnessing childbirth. I still have them, don’t get me wrong. My way of handling them is what has changed.

Last year I was working as a Research Assistant. The people I was working for stationed me at a Level One Hospital in Lusaka. I worked from this hospital for 3 days. During this period I worked for a section of the hospital near a ward. Ordinarily I assumed the ward was for people getting treatment for their illnesses.

During these 3days I heard screams that to my naive ears sounded like people mourning a loved one who had just past. I would feel sad every time I had the mournful screams.

Little did I know what I was hearing were ladies screaming in pain as they brought their little bundles of joy into the world. This is because it turns out the building right next to the building where I was stationed was actually a Labour Ward. I only got to learn this on my third and final day after stating to my supervisor and the nurse I was working with that, “it’s quite sad listening to people mourn their loves ones like that”.

My supervisor who is married with kids laughed. The nurse with a look that said to me, “You poor innocent child”, looked at me with a grin on her face and said, that’s not people crying for their loved ones who have passed on. That instead it was women screaming and crying because of labour pains. She went on to point out that the building next to my work station was not an ordinary ward but a Labour Ward.

In that moment it hit hard. For 3days straight I heard women cry and scream one after the other from a labour ward. The cries and screams where not that Loud. It was the pain in them that made my spine and skin crawl. I wasn’t even in the room.

However, the screams made me realise how selfish men are when it comes to parenting. Here is a woman you say you love to the Moon and back. She goes through hellish pain to birth your child and there you are unwilling or not wanting to be by her side as she goes through this horrific pain, all because you are SCARED?

If Childbirth is that scary for you a bystander. Imagine how scary it must be for the person going through it.

And if you are that scared, don’t you think it would be comforting to have someone who knows you, knows your strengths and weaknesses be by your side as you go through something so scary?

I think the least you can do is hold her hand as she brings that child into the world. Its Your Child for goodness sake. Your flesh and blood for Crying out Loud.